Plays, 2nd April, 2016 -

I'm a big fan of the DiRT games. They're great fun and make rallying accessible. DiRT Rally, now available on PS4 and Xbox One, isn't accessible. I've only played a couple of events so far, but if you didn't already know, this isn't made from the same mould as previous games in the series - so much so that it's a shame Codemasters had to use the DiRT name. Flashy arcade racing this isn't; challenging, whiteknuckle, edge of your seat driving it is.

DiRT Rally is also an odd looking game. It at once manages to look modern and clean, running at a lovely smooth 60fps, but also a bit last-gen. It's by no means ugly, but certainly not the visual bar-setter DiRT was on Xbox 360 and PS3.

Homefronter, eh? What do you mean you've never heard of it? Is it because it's a joke name for Homefront: The Revolution? Maybe. Anyway, I went to go and play it last week, expecting it to be a load of old nonsense, and while it very much is nonsensical – in its fiction Steve Jobs is, uh, North Korean, essentially – it was nowhere near as bad as I had anticipated. Which is good. Because, as you know, I love video games. Love them.

I've also been playing some more of Dark Souls 3, which you may have heard about. I can't say too much about it, apart from the fact I've played it for over 30 hours and now my head is filled with nonsense lore. My full review is coming early next week, so look out for that. Have a good weekend, yeah?

So after a disappointing, nostalgia-sapping start, I switched over to PS Vita and gave Day of the Tentacle another chance. And, after turning off the music, I'm glad that I did.

It's hard to say exactly why, but playing it on Vita made for a much more natural, compelling experience than playing on PS4. It's the perfect 'bed' game, so to speak; an easy one to lose a few hours to on a lazy Sunday morning, and way more comfortable than playing it hunched over your parents' PC as a kid. The remaster doesn't take too long to platinum, either, so seeing that pop was a lovely little bonus.

This weekend, though, I'll be turning my attention to Resident Evil 6/10 now that it's made its way to current-gen. Was it really as bad as people made out at the time? And will I ever be able to unsee the 'giraffe'? Who knows, but hopefully by the time you listen to next week’s podcast I’ll have much more of an answer.

Because of the need to produce guides, this game has consumed my life for the past several days, on top of a middling amount of consumption for the past few months as I prepared for it. (Consumption, as a word, makes it sound a bit like some kind of tuberculoid disease, but no comparisons or conclusions should be drawn. Of any kind. Because this is not a review. I am simply stating facts. NO EMBARGOES HAVE BEEN BROKEN.)

My character is a skinny spellcaster who also hits things a lot. It works for me. Sometimes I make her wear heavy things so she fat rolls for my amusement – fat rolling, for the uninitiated, is a term Souls players use to describe the dodge rolls of a character when they're slightly overburdened by their gear. It's been present throughout all the games and is a term I know because of the aforesaid total immersion in Dark Souls lore and etc. I've been watching a lot of very specific YouTube channels.

Burns' review will be out next week, as he says. Sometimes he comes to check on my progress in the game, and shouts stuff like "Kill these bastards!" and so on. It's like having a mentor, but one who isn't that invested in you.

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